Judging from the commercials I keep seeing on TV, I guess there is a class of people where receiving a brand new car on Christmas is a normal occurrence. However, that's not the class I belong to, unfortunately. Damned bourgeoisie!

play for today

Once again, I don't have a decent photo of Rex for today. Puddles the puppy, aka Pixie's favorite toy, returned to Hanley Inc today, so someone whose name starts with Pixie is extremely bored and, as you can see by the photo above, requires extra attention.

God, how I hate that song. But the title is an accurate measure of how I feel right now.

I just emailed Vieux Carre Voodoo, aka Scotty IV, off to the publisher.

Hurray! Hurray!

I'll talk more about it later, right now I have keyboard exhaustion.

But to hold you over, here are some pictures of Satan's Kitty being all cute acting like Skittle:

After being summarily evicted from my desk chair, he made himself at home in my easy chair:



A couple of hours later, he was still there:

This year for ChanuChristmaKwanzaKa I am hand making all of my "white elephant" gifts. Here's one that found a good home on Sunday evening (not without plenty of cheating and crying in the process. hey! score! they like my work).

Ponder:


Spray paint, India ink and acrylic on wood.

Originally published at Pixiu Press Blog. You can comment here or there.

About a week ago, I had the pleasure of being a presenter at the annual Best Book Workshop at the Sonoma County Office of Education.

The workshop was organized by Michael Powell, one of the district librarians. It was attended by approximately twenty-five local librarians and teachers.

My presentation had two segments. Since part of the workshop involved “book talk,” I presented a power point show of my book. I included many of the illutrations and gave a summary of Raggedy Chan. This gave me a chance to highlight some of the themes in the book, such as ‘immigration’ and ‘fitting in’.

Next I did a presentation on speculative fiction. I discussed why I thought it was important to education, and I talked about some of the free resources out there for educators interested in incorporating speculative fiction into their lessons.  (One of the free resources of course being my website, where I give away free teaching curricula.)

Here is a picture of me with Raggedy Chan and Michael Powell.

*sob* It was only so many months old!

It started clogging up about a couple of weeks ago. As far as I could figure out, the problem was that the brewed tree would get backed up in the basket area. However, no matter how many times I cleaned the basket, it still would get clogged up and wouldn't flow down into the pitcher.

So, I bought a new one. This time I'm not going to put any tea bags in the basket area, so that the tea will clog it up. I'll let the hot water flow into the pitcher, and it will be in the pitcher where I place the tea bags.

I scanned 19 photos of my maternal uncle when he was a child from my grandmother's collection.

1362 pages left.

On Saturday I read Act III.3 and 4; on Sunday III.5.

( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )

I had a day and a half's leave to take, so I took Friday off and went to see Daphne in Romford on my way home to Harwich to see the folks. I've known Daphne for at least eighteen years - since I was in my late teens and she was in her mid-sixties. We met walking our respective dogs on the beach - she had Tess (of the D'Urbervilles) and I had Pip (of Great Expectations). For years we met on the beach, even after Pip began gambolling about the Elysian Fields and then when Tess couldn't walk far and I'd call in for a cuppa. After Tess joined Pip Daphne started to go down hill, culminating in a several falls and a stroke last year. She was in hospital for weeks and weeks, during which time I visited her when I was back from London, before she was moved into a retirement home close to her son and his family in Romford. I hadn't seen her since, which is rather crap of me, but I kept in touch with Pat, a mutual friend, who kept me up to date with how Daphne was doing, and I sent her a couple of cards - including a postcard from Devon. Anyway, apart from the after-effects of the stroke, Daphne also has dementia, I believe, which means she's not always 'with it'. Hence I caught the tube, a train and a bus to Romford, which wasn't as arduous as it sounds, and found Daphne in a wheelchair in the lounge of the retirement home. She recognised me straight away, which was a pleasant surprise and was clearly pleased to see me. I took her a Christmas card and a cinnamon pomander to make her drawers smell Christmassy (Daphne always had a good sense of humour). I was there for an hour and we chatted most of the time. There were one or two occasions when she didn't seem with it, for instance when she asked me how my brother was and I gently reminded her that he had died six years ago. However, she mostly followed what I was saying and we reminisced about the old days. We talked about the Christmas mornings when several of us dog walkers, organised by Daphne, met for ginger wine, brandy and nibbles on the beach, whilst our dogs played in the sand, and we past a festive hour before heading home to our families. She had a photograph album with her and we looked at the photos of Tess and Steven, one of her sons who predeceased her. The home is nothing salubrious, but seems nice enough. There are three Christmas trees in the rather large lounge and the staff seem friendly. It was rather strange leaving her, since, with someone in her condition, I don't know if I will see her again; she could be around for years or not. After Shaun's death I take nothing for granted. However, I'm glad I went. It was lovely to see her and connect with her. It was a good hour, well spent.

Prior to catching the train to Romford, I was able to meet Colin for a coffee at Nero in Soho. He was on a late shift at work, so was due in at midday. I'm trying to squeeze in as many friends before Christmas as possible, so it's proving to be an even busier time than usual. It was good to catch up. He gave me a Christmas card - and a birthday card, though I won't open it until the day. I was impressed that he remembered - how kind. I returned the complement Christmas card-wise and, although we don't normally do presents, gave him an incense burner for when he moves back to the flat. It was wrapped-up and he's saving it to open at Christmas. He's only got Christmas Day off this year, so I thought an extra something wouldn't go amiss. I do like watching the world go by - especially in Soho, where there are so many colourful characters. There weren't so many that early in the morning - well, the fact that it was morning probably means most of them hadn't surfaced yet - although I did spot Boy George at a cafe across the road. He didn't look his best, but then, not many of us do at that time of day!

Leaving Romford, I took the train to Harwich and spent the rest of the day with the folks. I was shattered from the week and the cold I had been keeping at bay, so I spent an hour-and-a-half in bed during the evening, but was with them for most of the time. I gave Mum a dried orange and cinnamon Christmas wreath, which she got me to hang in the hall for her, and Pa a jar of damson jam, which is his favourite. I got both from the shops at work on the special staff 30% off day. :o)

Saturday, I met with Ann, Chrissie, Kath, Heather and Tina round at Steph's for our second annual pre-Christmas lunch. It was great to see them all. Tina had only just got back from her holiday in India on Thursday, so she was able to tell us about her adventures with Katie. I couldn't believe how cheap the return flights are - and most things seem to be cheap as chips out there. It sounds like they had a great time. Most surprising of all was that Tina has died her hair dark. She said it was for India and that she'll go back to blonde in the summer. Steph and Chrissie cooked a wonderful lunch of shepherd's pie (I had the veggie version) with loads of vegetables and Yorkshire puddings. The dessert was a cream and ginger biscuit concoction - very bad for one's figure, but yum! I drank too much sherry and wine, but hey. Everyone seemed pleased with the Kew diaries I had bought for them all, so that was good. Angie and David joined us for coffee later in the afternoon, so it was quite a little gathering. I'm hoping it becomes an annual tradition.

I caught the 18.03 train and was with Chris by half-eight. He was in the middle of watching X Factor, so I joined him with a gin and ginger beer. It was sad that Stacey was knocked out. I'm pleased that Joe ultimately won on Sunday's show, since I believe he is the best singer, but I do think that Stacey is a better singer than Olly. That's what irks me about things like that, it's not just about talent, it's about popularity. Ultimately, of course, it's about money - and if you're not popular you won't make money. We didn't do much on Sunday. Chris had some work to finish off and I read through the extensive notes I have made for my essay. It was good to be together.

Nothing says "Festival of Lights" like a flash mob on Ben Yehuda Street in Jerusalem. Oh...you can try not to sing and dance.

You may ask why someone who fusses about lack of money travels a lot. I think there are two reasons: 1) It helps me get through depression if I always have something to look forward to. It's a short term goal that's achievable. 2) I have a huge number of anxieties and leaving home for a few days is a way to challenge/overcome those anxieties as well as get away from everyday troubles.

Observations:

1. Cruises are actually really cheap. You can get your transportation, hotel, and food for less than $100 per night. ($65 per night in our case.) Alcohol can add up though.

2. Jamaica was not nearly as bad as I expected although we only saw touristy spots. There was a kiosk with products benefiting Jamaicans with HIV/AIDS, so I bought a candle.

3. If you don't want to be bombarded with immensely aggressive sales pitches from desperate Jamaican merchants, stay on the bus when the tour stops at the craft market. (I didn't mind really, but I don't think John liked it.)

4. Grand Cayman is nice, but very plastic. Planned, forced beauty as opposed to Jamaica's natural beauty.

5. Cozumel is okay if you like drinking and shopping, but if we go again, we'll probably take the day trip to the ruins at Tulum.




Montego Bay, Jamaica




The Carnival Monstrosity Conquest anchored off of Grand Cayman



John holding a baby turtle at Cayman Turtle Farm. They have a "Turtle Education Center" which gave me an image of little turtles sitting at desks taking an exam.

( Five more pictures behind the cut )

I'm really happy John and I made the effort to vote early since we were going to be out of town for the election. And Annise Parker won, so we now have a lesbian mayor. I think the people knew that she really was the best candidate, and they didn't let homophobia stand in their way. I'm very proud of the city. :: Hug for Houston ::


On a slightly related note, the post office wasn't going to let me pick up packages for "my roommate." I showed her that I had the same address as the one on the orange card, and she changed her mind. I wonder if it's policy to allow a husband or wife to pick up packages for a spouse, and she didn't want to discriminate. So yay for Ms. Jackson at the Astrodome post office. :)

Oh, the things I do for you people.

Where to start? Let's talk for a moment about the worlds of music and film. There's a lot of crossover. Film directors sometimes make very good videos. Sofia Coppola (The White Stripes' "I Just Don't Know What To Do with Myself"), Martin Scorsese (Michael Jackson's "Bad"), and Gus Van Sant (Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Under the Bridge") -- all Oscar nominees for directing -- come immediately to mind.

Occasionally it works in reverse. Spike Jonze made the delightful video for Weezer's "Buddy Holly" before going on to helm Adaptation and Where the Wild Things Are. David Fincher put his touch on Billy Idol's "Rock the Cradle of Love," Madonna's "Vogue," the Rolling Stones' "Love is Strong" and six billion other cool videos then made Seven, Fight Club, and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, among other films. The husband and wife team of Valerie Ferris and Jonathan Dayton, responsible for the sleeper hit Little Miss Sunshine, got their start making videos for Smashing Pumpkins ("1979") and Jane's Addiction ("Been Caught Stealing"). Bet you didn't know that, did you? As always, I fill your brain with treasure.

Sometimes, though, things are lost in translation. Case in point: Tarsem. Remember Tarsem? He's the dude who made R.E.M.'s "Losing My Religion" video. It was super cool and won a gazillion awards, all of which Tarsem accepted while dressed like Aladdin. But then Tarsem decided to direct movies. The results were the visually gorgeous but completely ridiculous The Cell and The Fall. I understand he's currently making another movie, Dawn of War, which he desribes as" a really hardcore action film done in Renaissance painting style." Can't wait.

Which brings us to Dale Resteghini. Going by the name of Rage, Resteghini has made videos -- lots of videos -- for the likes of Mudvayne, Anthrax, and Hatebreed. But his specialty seems to be working with hip-hop artists such as Soulja Boy, Li'l Wayne, Cypress Hill, and a bunch of other musicians whose music blasts from the speakers of tricked-out Daewoos across the land.

Resteghini has made some films too, most notably a little gem called Da Hip Hop Witch, an urban take on The Blair Witch Project that featured a little-known-but-soon-to-be-huge Eminem. So he has cred. Word.

In Urban Massacre Resteghini again pairs hip-hop and horror. At the center of the action is a fictional group, Tha Supanatchralz, played by real-life rappers Krumbsnatcha, Ivory, Baby Sham, Dia, and Remedy. I'm sure these names mean something to people in the know, but I couldn't keep track of who's who so that is that last time you'll hear me reference any of the actual actors.

Not that it matters. All you need to know is that everybody in the music biz wants to sign Tha Supanatchralz and that a clown wants to kill all of those people.

Why a clown? I will let Kim Resteghini -- Dale's wife and co-producer -- explain: "We decided to go with the clown costume as opposed to just a mask because we thought it would add a more theatrical -- a more comical -- element to the character -- to the monster -- and give it a little bit more credibility."

By "credibility" I assume Kim is referring to the "fact" that all clowns are evil. You know, Kim, I would think that a black woman married to a cracka who makes a living making movies about rappers might be a tad more sensitive to stereotyping.

Oh, that's right, clown hating is the last acceptable form of bigotry.

By the way, Kim makes that statement on the director's commentary you can play while watching the film. Normally I don't bother with that sort of thing, as watching most of these films more than once is on my list of Things I Want To Do Slightly Less Than I Want to Sit in a Tub Full of Fire Ants. But I was curious to see if she and Dale would talk about why they chose to use a clown as their villain, so I watched parts of it again.

And I'm glad I did. In addition to learning about Kim and Dale's commitment to authenticity I also learned that Dale thinks of Urban Massacre as an homage to classic movies of the past like The Fast and the Furious. I did not know this, so I'm relieved to find out that his directorial choices are deliberate and not the result of a blow to the head.

Now that you know the clown is in the movie to lend an element of realism, I will take you on a giddy romp through the story.

As might be expected considering the director's forte, at it’s core Urban Massacre is an extended rap video built around four lengthy performances by Tha Supanatchralz. In between are 1. scenes where the clown kills someone, 2. scenes where the members of Tha Supanatchralz are interrogated about the killings, and 3. a completely gratuitous scene where one of Tha Supanatchralz has sex with a woman identified as "one of his four baby mamas."

It may not come as a surprise to you that the clown scenes are the most entertaining, although the sex scene is pretty steamy if you're into that sort of thing. (Also, the DVD extras feature an extended version of that scene, which is thoughtful.) But for me it was the clown.

The clown is not terribly scary, at least in appearance. His mask is pretty ordinary, and his outfit is downright jolly. But his demeanor is terrifying. This clown doesn't pussyfoot around. When he wants you dead, he makes you dead. He chases his victims up spiral staircases. He runs after cars. He hops a motorcycle and goes on a high-speed pursuit. He even kills one guy while the man is in the middle of a conversation with a phone sex operator. You've got to admire that kind of commitment.

Fun Fact #1: The film's credits list no fewer than 30 stunt cyclists, but only 26 actors. Also, the clown is played by 6 different actors.

Okay, so the clown kills a bunch of people. (My favorite is a guy who tries to fend him off with a spoon.) Then out of nowhere Tha Supanatchralz receive a text message from the clown saying that he's kidnapped Skoobz. Oh noes!

What? Who's Skoobz? Sorry. I forgot to mention that. He's a Chihuahua. He belonged to one of the clown's first victims, a rapper. Now it's up to Tha Supanatchralz to rescue him. As the proud parents of three Chis myself, I'm glad they're all about getting Skoobz back, but I don't really know why they're so concerned. I don't recall any of them speaking fondly of him before now.

Off they go to confront the clown, who has told them to meet him at the club where they perform. When they get there he ambushes them and takes them down with a big can of Knockout Spray (yes, that's what it says on the label). When they come to they're tied up and the clown entertains them by doing a long dance while holding both Skoobz and a very large knife. It reminded me a bit of watching Louis van Amstel twirling porky little Kelly Osbourne around the floor on Dancing with the Stars, and is the best part of the movie and totally worth the wait.

Fun Fact #2: The club where the performances take place is called Club Enron. The sleazy manager, who has his throat cut by the clown, is named Ken Lay. Ha ha! Social commentary!

At some point the clown puts Skoobz down (much as Louis dumped Kelly on the floor during their disco number in the DWTS finale.) Being the smartest person in the movie, Skoobz trots over and gnaws the ropes tying Tha Supanatchralz up. They rush the clown and give him a good ass kicking.

Having subdued the murderous Bozo they start to remove his mask to reveal the identity of the killa. Then -- THEN -- they stop and announce that if we want to know who did it we'll have to wait for the sequel.

Oh no you din't. But they did. So if you didn't already hate Urban Massacre you now totally despise the very sight of it. I mean what a totally punk ass thing to do. (FYI: Urban Massacre is full of endearing terms like punk ass. Generally they precede words that start with B or N.)

Apparently a lot of other people thought the ending sucked too, because at some point Resteghini tacked on an update in which we're informed that the clown is -- are you ready -- the identical twin brother of the guy who wanted to manage Tha Supanatchralz.

Holy confetti! I for one never saw that coming. I mean finding out the whole thing was a dream, sure. Or that everyone was dead the whole time and only the clown could see them. Obvious. But an identical twin? That's genius.

Oh oh oh. I can't believe I forgot this. There is a dream sequence in the movie. One of Tha Supanatchralz dreams that she's being stalked by a killer clown. (FYI, the technical term for this is foreshadowing.) She then dreams that she's watching one of those crazy TV psychics, who tells her that she is being stalked by a killer clown. And then the killer clown shows up ON THE TV and kills the psychic. Who, by the way, is a drag queen.

Forget Skoobz. That is the best part of the movie.

Favorite Line: "There's a dim bulb in your little lamp, isn't there?"

Rating (out of 5):

"A Bird's Eye View" - Central Park South

Another week has gone by and suddenly I realize that there are only another two or so weeks in 2009, and thank goodness for that. I haven’t hit the introspective time yet, the one where I try to prepare for 2010, but that will happen after Christmas, I’m sure.

Mid-week I caught a ride down into Redding with Kerry and stocked up on groceries and stuff like toilet paper. I also bought mince pies, yay! The weather was incredibly cold the first half of the week, hitting 9°F/-12°C. Then it snowed. I woke up to it and was very surprised.

I went out to see the pristine, thick snow and before long there were hundreds of footprints everywhere: mine, dogs, cats, deer, birds. I stood in my labyrinth and had the first moment of pure, quiet stillness that I’ve had for months and months. :)

The water pipe froze, of course, so after the tank finally ran out we were reduced to manually adding water so we could take a military (super-brief) shower. Finally it began raining and we defrosted, so the first thing we did was take very long showers. I have a new appreciation for plumbing. ;)

The day after the really cold night (the coldest I’ve ever been) Amazon delivered the two electric throws and life has been 100% better since.

I’d been working with Examiner for a couple of weeks to get a different topic, and they approved it. I am now, or will probably be from tomorrow, the British Royal Family Examiner. I wanted something mainstream, and it certainly is that. I’ll make a proper announcement when it’s for real. The rest of my work is going pretty well and I’m steadily making progress.

Lots of positive stuff going on this week. But the real magic moment was when Don and I were outside adding water, and a deer showed up. She was only a few feet away from us, perhaps six feet, and seemed quite okay with the two very still, enamored humans keeping an eye on her. She moved when, finally, we did.

I’m zonked out from long days and such, but we’re warm, have food, and it’s been a good week.

They do a lot of really good documentaries. I'm currently watching Inside the Iraq War. Next is Lisa Ling investigating the drug-fueled wars at the border with Mexico.