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Ninja Fire

December 15th, 2008 (03:54 am)

current mood: awake

Confidential to Mr. Puterbaugh.

Apparently, I come from a long line of women who go rogue. I think you'll get what I mean:


Last week, I virtuously went to the dentist (Look, Ma, no cavities!), went to the lab two months late to get my blood drawn, and conducted some mara-freaking-thon shopping. And you know I DO NOT LIKE TO SHOP. But I got a lot done, including getting all my holiday cards in the mail along with 13 packages.

Some of my errands were prompted by Ninja Lesbians. In a covert operation, they delivered to The Compound:

A chiminea!

Anyone who knows me knows I love a nice fire (nice means no structures, living trees, or woodland creatures are involved). Even though we don't have much cold weather, we do have a little period of time when there are no mosquitoes and being outside doesn't lead to heatstroke. On those occasions, I've speculated that it would be fun to sit outside with friends next to a crackling fire and yell at the dogs if they seem inclined to look for lawn hors d'oeuvres.

After Lindsey and Rhonda gave us the chiminea, they explained there were rules, and Lindsey even found them online. Apparently, I needed play sand or pea gravel before I built the first small fires. Trip to Lowe's--check. I also needed something called Butcher's Wax to help seal the outside of the chiminea. Lowe's--nope. Home Depot--nope.

Tim then suggested that I go to the bowling alley in the basement (Hi, Greg!) under the TimLair.

Timpire Lanes.

Now I don't really have a problem with basements. But I fear bowling alleys. (Hi, rude nephew and nieces. Don't think I've forgotten that night in the 1980s when you made me put on those hideous shoes, promised not to laugh, then fell on the floor howling when I...) I digress. Look!

Butcher's Wax!

And I've done my part:

So now we just have to create an area somewhere on the grounds for our first fire. And I have to keep my promise that no starter fluid will be involved.


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