beckycochrane [userpic]

Bribe me!

May 23rd, 2010 (08:05 pm)

current mood: resourceful

I was just reading a story about how the Duchess of York got embarrassed in a scam in which she promised access to Prince Andrew for large sums of money. Look, I LIKE Sarah Ferguson, and some might call her resourceful.

So, inspired by her, I'm willing to make this offer. Though Tim is my friend and not my ex-husband, I DO have access to his inner circle. In exchange for large sums of money, I'm willing to get you an audience with Rexford G. Lambert and Pixie P. Lambert. They practically live with him--wait, they do live with him!--so you see that I've got enormous inroads.

Failing that, does anyone want to buy twelve paintings or three others that are hanging in my living room and pictured below? I painted all of them, but I could probably get Tim to breathe on them or something before I give them up. Negotiate with me!

Or see my good name ruined in the tabloids. Your choice.


If you own any of the books in the opposite side bar and would like them signed, mail them to:
P.O. Box 924104
Houston, TX 77292
Please include three dollars for return postage. Thank you.

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